I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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