I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
