Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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