i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
