if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
