operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
