I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
