I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
