Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
