I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
