I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
