I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
two words...techno handjob
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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