next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
