I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
