i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
