Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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