He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
