Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
