I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
