You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
