Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
