i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
