he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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