dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
