Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
