Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
