At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
