my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
