South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
