You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
