if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Your cock deserves a montage
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
