no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
