ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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