I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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