Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
