I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
