my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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