2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
