If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
