Grow some girl-balls and come out already
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i drank out of a bidet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
