it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
