I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
