dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
