people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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