i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
