do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
