How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
