What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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