dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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