He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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