I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
